An Unlikely Heaven
by robert3A-SN
Summary: "Seven Minutes In Heaven" is a popular game in South Park parties- yet it isn't always the most common and expected couplings that have to make out in a closet. Features Stanrietta, Wetters, Kenbecca.


Given that South Park is the most extreme town in America, if not this universe, it was easy to expect the most extreme situations. When it comes to teenagers holding parties, one always expects a large amount of booze, sex and insanity. But when it comes to a South Park party with its teenagers, people were shocked that there weren't graphic orgies, sudden love confessions and a massive pile of clothes left on the floor every time out.

This isn't to say that there wasn't a lot of booze and making out when the kids got together- just not any more than a normal party in a more stable town. However, there were a few chances when they got to be a bit naughtier than usual.

One of those chances came when the boys and girls turned to the traditional party game "Seven Minutes In Heaven." It was often just an excuse for designated boys and girls to make out some more, only in a closet for a designated time period this time. But given the variety of boys and girls in these gatherings, they couldn't always be paired with their significant others or crushes.

Sometimes they had to kiss people that no one would normally connect with them. They either weren't thought of as possible romantic pairs, or they were the kind of friends who actually secretly weren't pining for each other. Other times, the mere act of kissing someone different than their loved one was weird no matter who it was with.

Yet these types of unlikely kissing partnerships often did become quite memorable, at least for the necessary seven-minute span. The tempting idea of a unique "What if?" scenario with another boy or girl- especially one that they wouldn't have normally thought of that way- usually won over any doubts. Besides, it was at least healthier than doing it outside of the closest for a longer time.

On a given party night where "Seven Minutes In Heaven" was on the schedule, that kind of lesson could be learned by a few unexpected pairings like this:

**Stan/Henrietta**

It was still surprising to Stan that the Goth girl even took part in conformist games like this. But it was a relief to him when he didn't taste cigarettes on her lips, so at least she had either cut down for the night or brushed her teeth.

With no nicotine to worry about, he could actually savor how full and pouty her lips felt, helped in no small part by the black lipstick on them. She was even kissing back and having those lips start to engulf hers, which helped relax him a bit more.

The mere fact that Stan was even allowed to take part in this game- and that Wendy did so as well- was quite a milestone. But Wendy's jealousy had finally faded away, even if it took a few breakups for her to learn her lesson. Once the two had actually gotten through their childish issues and past problems, they were a lot more stable and could treat this sort of thing as no big deal.

There would be no more Goth phases for Stan every year or two- although if they broke up after making all this progress, who knows what could unfold. Yet that made it all the more ironic that he was kissing a Goth now. But Stan supposed that some jokers would find it all the more stunning that he was kissing the girl Goth.

Yet he supposed that if he had stayed Goth permanently, this would have happened sooner. In those moments when he reflected on how much worse things could have gotten with Wendy, he wondered who he might have been with instead, if anyone. Hooking up with Henrietta was admittedly plausible, even though she didn't seem like the girlfriend or love type. But she did always accept him back into her group when he needed it, just like Wendy usually took him back- and she was certainly a match for the bitter, cynical Stan that still showed up every now and then.

And physically…..few would probably put her alongside a Wendy or Bebe. However, despite being heavier than them, she had become heavier in the good way. Any heavy way other than Cartman's would look better by comparison, of course, but her outfits and corsets and other form fitting clothes showed that she had….grown into her curves. In fact, she could almost pass for a younger Goth version of the redhead with the biggest boobs on "Mad Men"

With that thought, he put his arms around her waist and couldn't help but let out a little moan at feeling those curves. It also helped that it pushed their chests closer together as well. Stan could feel the evidence that Bebe may not have had the best boobs in school after all- and he wondered if he could open an eye and look down at the evidence without her making that eye black.

As for the owner of that evidence, she was a little bit taken as well. Hearing Stan moan like that at feeling her body was kind of a new thing for Henrietta to take in. She didn't exactly hang out with the kind of conformist crowd that drooled over women, and she knew that she wasn't likely to inspire that kind of conformist leering.

Yet she knew that Stan wasn't an ordinary conformist. It was quite easy to think of him as just another poser, although posers didn't have this many Goth phases. But of course, the conformist side did finally win out when he fixed things with Wendy for good. However, all those ultra-depressed visits of his to her room over the years- and one of the most impressive cynical phases she had ever seen- clued Henrietta in that the Goth part of his was just as strong as the ones in her friends.

Stan could easily blend into two worlds, whereas the Goths had to be super non-conformists just to blend into their own. But although he had chosen the conformist world in the end, he didn't completely ignore his dark past. He still greeted the Goths when he saw them, despite their practiced indifference, and never joined with the other jealous conformists who mocked their superior lifestyle.

Even Henrietta could admit in her weaker moments that she did wonder how things would be like if he stayed around for good. He would probably just hang around like the other deadweight boys she knew….or perhaps not.

Now he actually seemed to like kissing her and holding her, despite her figure- or maybe because of it. Perhaps all those fatass jokes he made about his psycho conformist friend didn't make him fat-phobic after all. And maybe his thin figure would have fit in quite nicely next to her's on some of their poetry nights.

It was useless to think those stupid thoughts for many reasons, however. He was back to his so-called fairy tale Hallmark fantasy with Wendy- and even if she wasn't a crazy bitch anymore, she could probably cut Henrietta up a bit before she put her into a coma. But even a Goth can have ideal thoughts that don't take place in a dark room or cemetery.

At least this little session would let her indulge for a few more minutes before she got back to better thoughts. Until then, she could notice how he was pressing up closer to her and had his hands move up her back. She had a good idea of why that was, even if she didn't feel that his eye was opening and looking down her cleavage.

Conformist Barbies would have kicked him in the nuts and whined about women's lib and stuff. But Henrietta was a Goth….and Goths had license to be naughtier than Barbies.

Yet when she started to push Stan against the wall, press up against him and slide her tongue in his mouth, she was actually pleased that she gave into Big Colgate and brushed before coming to this party.

**Butters/Wendy**

Contrary to some early popular belief, Butters Stotch did like girls. Despite a few misplaced sexist comments, some cross dressing- and peeing on the door of his current make-out partner- Butters did hope to kiss girls someday. Of course that was a task easier said than done, in spite of having a slightly better reputation these days.

Part of that reputation was because of said make-out partner, once Wendy started befriending him after she changed her personality. She claimed that she had ignored the constant suffering of those around her, like Butters, as a result of her constant protests about injustice outside South Park. However she justified it, it was just nice to have an actual friend.

Naturally, it was hard to stop rumors that he liked to play dress-up and wanted to be a girl because he hung around them more often. But if girls accepted him more than some boys, he was in no position to just ignore it. And he knew it wasn't true- in fact, Wendy was even the one that introduced him to more hard core video games than Hello Kitty.

Since they were friends now, it was sometimes easy to imagine them being….more in Butters' most icky moments. But she was with Stan for good now, and he wasn't going to be an oogy rapist like half the male characters they saw on their Lifetime movie nights. The mere thought of doing anything that would stop him from having a real friend was yucky enough. In any case, they had more of a little brother-big sister kind of relationship- which really wasn't the best thing to think about at this moment.

As such, it took Butters a little while to actually settle into kissing his friend in the scary closet. But as per usual lately, Wendy helped him along and started off gently and slowly. If she had started at full force, he was sure the impact of her lips would have made him faint or go into shock. Yet by the time Butters felt comfortable enough to kiss back, he was a bit more ready to experiment.

Despite not seeming like a typical boy by any stretch of the imagination, he still had his share of…..PG-13 thoughts about girls. Maybe even an R-rated thought or two on some nights when he couldn't sleep and needed something to distract him from loud rainstorms. So although he wasn't experienced at kissing, he knew what kind of kisses he'd like to try if he got the chance, what parts of a girl he could touch, and how he would like to cuddle with her.

Considering that he was kissing, touching and cuddling his drop-dead gorgeous friend who didn't mind kissing him, Butters figured he should really savor acting these fantasies out. At least it would give him something to think about other than really loud thunder or alien attacks when he was trying to sleep.

Wendy smiled into their kiss when Butters started to get into it, and started to put her arms more solidly around him. She knew that all it would take was a little practice and patience, as with most of their activities together. But this one was bound to be their most rewarding yet, since she always figured that he would be quite a good, romantic kisser once he got the hang of it, given his sweetness and generosity.

Wendy had thought of herself as sweet and generous even when she wasn't all the time, but Butters was actually like that all the time. That made him an easy target for everyone else, although it made little to no sense to her. However, even if she did know that sometimes in the old days, she was too wrapped up in her own little world- her own little paranoid and unstable world sometimes- to pay it much mind. Kind of like how his assbag parents and Cartman and his other bullies didn't pay it much mind.

The message about letting evil triumph when good does nothing came from one of the first college-level books she ever read 10 years ago. So Wendy should have taken that to heart sooner, but it took some intense self-improvement for it to finally sink through. Now that she didn't ignore injustice right under her nose- whether it was Butters' mistreatment or the injustice she herself doled out sometimes- it was easier to get the message.

Cynics would probably say that she befriended Butters just to make herself feel better and to preach about school bullying. If it had unconsciously started like that, it wasn't an issue anymore. Now that she actually had a boy friend who wasn't a boyfriend, it helped her realize that having platonic friends of the opposite sex wasn't suspicious- whether she or Stan did it.

That went a long way to resolving her jealousy issues, and it helped that Butters was great to keep around after that- whether she could bail him out, or he could offer some surprisingly helpful advice, or whether she needed insight on dealing with boys or foiling a Cartman scheme. It was indeed possible to have him as a friend without him acting like a girl or working out his homosexuality after all.

He certainly wasn't acting like a homosexual at this moment. His lips were rubbing against hers and he was moving his hands through her hair, face and waist almost as good as Stan. Yet Stan was a quick learner in those aspects when he finally stopped puking beforehand, so it made sense that Butters was becoming that adept as well. Since this was his first time doing this, and the only time he could do it with his friend, it felt like he was really savoring the sensations and the texture of the body parts he was allowed to touch.

Wendy was with Stan full time now, and she had made sure that it wouldn't be threatened by old demons again. She would never think to endanger that with her cute- though perhaps more handsome than cute- best male friend.

Yet as she started to part her lips for him, she vowed that she would have to find a regular girlfriend who Butters could do this with more often.

**Kenny/Rebecca Cotzwald**

Kenny McCormack had his standards for lusting after girls. Admittedly high standards, but he didn't see anything wrong with aiming for the best. Perfect 10's, and those who could pass for 10's or hard eights or nines usually filled those standards. As such, nerdy home schooled girls didn't have the best chance of making that cut.

Rebecca Cotzwald wasn't an average home schooled girl, of course, judging from her first brief stint in South Park Elementary. By the end of that week, she was transformed into the kind of slut that would certainly have been on Kenny's radar, if he hadn't died by that plot twist. By the time he came back after the school dance, Rebecca was on her way to being cured from her slut persona, and it was chalked up to another case of Kenny's rotten luck.

Things didn't seem to have changed years later, as Rebecca was back to full-on nerd mode. Kenny liked to imagine that she was the prototypical nerd who was smoking hot in regular clothes, like all prototypical girl nerds are in movies. But she hadn't done much to give Kenny any hints about her smoking-ness.

Yet when they started off in the closet, Kenny was hoping he could awake a few hidden parts of Rebecca in some way. If he didn't know that there was an seductress underneath those cardigans and shy looks, he might have had to have been forced into this. Again, although Kenny was supposed to be into everything in his path, even he had to make some cuts.

He could see potential in girls that weren't generally considered hot, or weren't considered to be on top of the hot food chain- like Henrietta and the least developed Raisins girl, for instance. It would take a few of his best kisses to fully unlock Rebecca's. But if he did, Kenny would finally see what he was too late to see seven years ago, and get to live the fantasy of unleashing a nerd's sexy side.

Going all in right off the bat wouldn't work, and he wanted to save his best stuff for later. He'd have to start with the generic closed mouth kisses, and gradually start using his hands and lips for more experimental techniques. A few hair twirls and a few experimental suckles got her to stop fidgeting, yet her mouth was still closed off.

However, he was certainly making progress, as Rebecca herself could attest if she could speak out loud.

In her ever active brain, she was once again analyzing why she had risked coming here. She should have known that she would be forced to lock lips with the premiere lip-locker in South Park, instead of some meeker male like the Stotch boy. But then again, Kyle Broflovski was no one's idea of a ladies man- whether or not it was due to the odd rumors of him being gay or hating women now- and he still turned Rebecca into a loose lady.

With the McCormack boy now working on her, Rebecca wondered if she really could indulge in this sort of thing without relapsing. It took intense training to bring her back to her old self, but it might all wash away in the next five minutes and five seconds.

Since McCormack would come at her with his entire, seemingly vast arsenal, there may not have been much she could do. Once again she would be turning tricks with her mouth, letting foreign saliva invade her lungs, pretend to be a vampire by feasting on a boy's lip flesh….okay, those thoughts really weren't helping her.

But why shouldn't they?

She may have blocked out her desire to do these things all the time, yet she still remembered how to do them. Although Rebecca might have to do them again, it didn't automatically mean that she would want it every second of the day. All things usually worked better in moderation, after all- and if she still remembered that now, it meant that her rehabilitation was still holding strong.

In fact, although this wasn't part of her rehab, it may well count as her final test. If she could withstand a kissing barrage from Kenny McCormack himself, enjoy it, and come out not wanting to intercourse the next male in sight, it would truly mean she was cured. If so, her parents and brother might not have to go bankrupt funding her therapy again- which would be beneficial since they just finished paying the bills from last time.

So Rebecca took a breath through her nose, and prepared for her final act of free therapy.

After she opened her lips and let Kenny's phallic tongue penetrate them, she went to work remembering her old techniques and put them into practice. By the end of the first minute, Kenny was starting to not keep up as much, which could be a good or bad sign. It reminded Rebecca of those helpless pieces of buttocks she had under her spell back then….

Yet then she remembered her anti-slut training, and the restraints used to keep her at bay when a boy was around, and the therapy bills. And she remembered that she had a highly developed, home-school, multi-tasking brain. Rebecca could reenact her old favorite kisses and still remember not to let them possess her body, unless she was too weak. But she had spent years learning not to be that weak anymore.

Now that she knew that, Rebecca could give Kenny the time of his life- one where he was so stunned that he would even forget to pinch her breasts and behind. Not many girls who didn't need therapy could probably say that. Indeed, although Kenny did put up quite a fight against her tongue before long, he was never the one in control. Rebecca was, in more ways than one for the first time.

She never imagined this could happen, especially after a long time imagining the worst. And she never imagined that she could pass a test against Kenny McCormack to make it happen.

But when it came to South Park parties, the unexpected was possible after all.


End file.
